via Absolute Michigan…
HOWELL, MICHIGAN – This morning, Ann Arbor based University of Michigan and East Lansing’s Michigan State University announced a historic merger that will create the largest university on the planet, known simply as “MU”.
“We stand midway between two storied colleges to create the greatest of them all,” stated MU co-President Lou Anna Simon as she welcomed an estimated 11,110 alumni, honorees, and angry sports fans to what will be the main campus of MU in Howell. “MU will become the largest college in the U.S. and instantly the leader in medicine, science, arts, and of course – sports.”
Her fellow co-President Mark Schlissel “Today we put aside our differences to crush all other universities with the aggregated research, industry partnerships, academic synergies, and the combined athletic might that two nationally powerful programs can bring to bear.”
Although barely hours old, the new school has already been ranked #1 for the upcoming football, basketball and cancer research seasons.
Reactions of fans of the two programs contacted ranged from “confused” to “enraged” while the entire state of Ohio pretty much just broke down and cried.